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Sins Of The Father

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I used to find it hilarious when my father would viciously tear apart some TV show, radio show or a character on television. “Look at him, he’s an awful eejit.” “What is that are they for real?” “I don’t know about you, but I’d say he whistles when he p***es the big eejit.” Lately, I have found myself doing the same. But in my defence, there are a load of morons polluting the television these days.

The biggest culprit is The Only Way Is Essex. (ITV2, Weekdays). This show is the epitome of all that is wrong with what people define as “reality television” these days. I strongly believe that the producers have gone out of their way to create instant hate figures in on this show. Every single one of the cast, sorry real people are odious, obnoxious, spoilt brats. Half enhanced for television, half based in whatever they class as reality. Now, I am fully aware of the use of editing on “reality television.” And sorry to burst your bubble if you are a fan, but the only real action you see on a show like this are the presenters doing the links, or the opening VT. Television has morphed from something that gave pure joy and fantasy to a box that spawns nano-celebrities and fodder for tabloid papers and middle shelf magazines.

The Only Way Is Essex goes one step further than Big Brother and I’m a Celebrity. At least those programmes had some sense of being contrived and merely used for entertainment possibilities. This show features what is effectively a really badly written soap opera that belongs on a late night slot on Channel 4. But instead it takes up prime evening schedule space that could easily have been filled by a solid drama or movie. Thank God for Sky Atlantic.

A bastion of light for people who like to watch television programmes featuring that rare commodity called “actors” rattling off snappy dialogue, acting and generally being fully aware that they are in a created situation. Not duping the viewer into believing that they were not aware of the camera over their shoulder, waiting on them to open the front door. Ridiculous. Boardwalk Empire, Game of Thrones, Blue Bloods, Big Love, The Sopranos. All of which are great shows with shining examples of how television should be done. What else do they have in common? They are American. Yes, I know all the jokes about Americans but they make damn fine television. So what have we learned?

This celebrity obsessed culture we live in has done irreparable damage to television schedules, clogging them up with Kerry Katona, The Next Chapter (Please stop writing the book, Kerry, no-one cares), Katie, The Only Way is Essex, Peter Andre, Britian’s Got More Talent With A Pop Idol In The Jungle. Surely there’s a great show waiting to be written out there. Or do we have to look forward to a winter schedule that features:

18.00

Jordan Reads Wilde

Follow glamour model Jordan as she reads Wilde for the modern generation. Hear Katie interpret such classics as Wtn 4 Godot, D End Gme, and D Importns Of Bn Ernst. Featuring text vote to see the nation’s favourite.

19.00

Peter Andre Interviews Stephen Fry

The popular singer and muscled father quizzes Stephen Fry on what his favourite brand of crisps are and whether he is a boxer or briefs man.

20.00

Your Man From Big Brother 4 Sits On A Chair For Four Hours

Sky Digital Viewers can press red for four multi angles of the chair.

Let me assure you, he definitely “whistles when he p***es…..

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Written by thepanch

May 14, 2011 at 8:07 am

Posted in Thoughts, TV

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